This week has been spent in a small bay-side house with my fiancee and dogs. We’ve explored every nook and cranny of the neighboring beaches, our lab-poodle mix romping through the cold waves and rolling in the damp sand, our tiny papillon a pale shadow in her wake. Last evening, we drank champagne on the dock and watched cool night slowly wash away the last semblances of gray day.

I keep promising myself time to sit and think, to compose my thoughts and finally reach decisions about the future of my writing. Instead, I’ve found myself taking the easy way out by embracing the moment. This reads Buddhist, to meditate on the instant of being, but I think it’s an easy escapism. My head is swirling with ideas for new novels, yet I find myself unable to commit.

Cataclysm is out. I already have a rough outline for a second novel in the series, but I’m not certain it’s my next project. There’s an undead story floating around pumped full of sarcasm, a fantasy novel meant to defy standards, and one or two other bands of thought that could evolve into more meaningful cords.

Cataclysm took years to write and edit. What’s next? How long will it take? Committing to writing a story requires dedication. I don’t want to wantonly jump into a project without first considering my options.

So, there you go. Que sera, sera.

I’ve been a very busy bee, I apologize for the lack of updates. In recompense, I offer you this: my first self-published novel. One small step for Amazon, one large step for A.A. Grapsas. I tore my hair out (and nails off) attempting to write a well-crafted teaser:

The Houses are long dead, purged from colonized space with vengeful steel and angry rifle. The charred ashes of the ancient monarchy have since been built over by industrial hunger, dark secrets carelessly forgotten. Now, buried ghosts are mysteriously returning, threatening to ravage humankind and rip apart the delicate peace struck between the representative democracy of the United Republics and techno-democracy of Sol. At the center of the tempest is an enigmatic man driven to discover the truth of his nightmarish past, a man soon to become entwined in the pain and disaster of the coming cataclysm.

Follow a brutal tale of high technology across humankind’s vast territories, far into the dangerous wilds of the Reaches where life is won and lost by a blade’s nano-thin edge, and deep within the mechanized efficiency and political web of the Core worlds. Encounter desperation, terror, betrayal, and retribution as a cunning information thief, a rogue ship captain, a tortured mercenary, and others become entangled in humankind’s struggle for freedom and survival amongst the blood stained heavens.

If that sounds interesting to you, please purchase a copy and let me know what you think! Writing should be a dialogue between author and readers, not a one way spew fest. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Other Stuff

I really have been busy. I’ve been working for Sojo, crafting great gameplay experiences that give back to those that play. The company is great and, hopefully, in the near future I’ll blog about how amazing it is to be doing good.

Expect more updates! I’ve said this in the past; but, all is a-changing.

That’s enough for now. Enjoy the beautiful weather!

From the notebook for my new novel:

We are controlled by vampires; creatures that prey on the talents, abilities, and work ethic of others. Yet, no one drives a stake through their black hearts. No one sees the ghoul in the shadows. They are the 1%.

We are zombies. The walking dead. Not the suave, smart image of the vampire, wise with time and fat on blood. We are the dumb, shambling horde. We are driven by our search for flesh and brains, never smart enough to stop and question our single minded hunger.

We should fear this similarity. Monsters lurk in the night and, no, they are not the apparitions of fairy-tale origins. They are very, very real.

Writing a book is hard. Cataclysm, my soon to be released space opera, took years to outline, write, and edit. Now, I’m shifting gears and preparing to write something completely different: a book on software development.

How’s it going?

Well, I started an outline… and immediately realized it was all wrong. Here you go:

Well, it’s apparently going to flood in Hoboken, the city I live in. You can read more about it here. One of my buddies already urged me to leave. Sadly, I’m stubborn. I’m the kind of guy that feels exhausted at the 17,000 foot mark of an 18,000 foot summit, takes a moment to reflect, and then trudges onward.

I have a plan

Sure I do! (Disclaimer: I’m an experienced mountaineering and outdoorsman with extensive first aid training, CPR training, and wilderness training meant for conditions where no one else is nearby).

My plan is simple: be prepared for the worst.

What could happen

Flooding

They’re saying a class 1 hurricane would flood my area of the city. A class 2 would flood significantly more. Flooding would definitely reduce mobility, pollute clean water sources, and potentially cause significant damage.

Winds

They’re fast. They’re scary (maybe not as much as raptors or zombies) and they’re coming. The winds of a class 2 could easily damage buildings, knock out the power, and drive branches through a window. If the electricity goes out, say goodbye to the refrigerator, 360 (most important element), and lighting.

People

Panic is dangerous. People do crazy things when they’re panicked. Additionally, most people do not prepare. They’re just not ready for what’s about to happen, for whatever the reason.

My solutions

Beef Jerky

The jerky won’t spoil if the electricity goes out and it’s fairly cheap. I was planning on making a big batch anyway. Now, it’ll just act as survival food.

Ice, ice, ‘fridge

I’m making a LOT of ice and storing it in the freezer in bags. These will make it easy to pack the fridge in the event of a power outage and will let us keep refrigerated food fresh for some time.

FreshDirect delivery

FreshDirect is delivering within the next 40 minutes a HUGE load of food Enough to keep me going for awhile. We also have plenty of rice (requires water for boiling), canned food (beans and so forth), and energy bars.

Water, water, everywhere

I’m one of those guys. Yeah, I have empty wine bottles, so what? They’re pretty. Well, they’re all now pretty useful. Each equates to roughly 750ml of water. Not bad. Add some plastic bottles we had and we’re up to several gallons, plus what’s already stored in the fridge. I’m also going to be making 2 gallons of tea (easy to store and has sugar for energy).

Zombie defense

I know it’s not the best defense, but I have three dogs. Two are mine, and the other is one that my fiancee is looking after for the week. Together, they add up to 125 lbs of muscle! (55, 65, and… 5… hey, the 5 lbs one is fast! — her name is Bardot, she’s a papillon, so CUTE!).

So, overall, I think we’re in good shape. I also have a first aid kit, leatherman, and duct tape. There are no trees near the apartment building and, frankly, it’s an all brick building that’s probably been around for 80 years, very sturdy and well built.

We’ll be fine

What am I going to do if the power stays on?

I’ll obviously be playing video games; but, I think I’ll also be making them — why not? The theme? Hurricanes! (And possibly zombies… with hurricanes).

Follow me on twitter for more about that!

Wish me luck!

I just posted about early warning employees on Gamasutra. I highly suggest checking it out.

Expect more content here soon. For the moment, I’m going to give you some insight into what’s been consuming my time.

What I’ve been up to

• Cataclysm – my science fiction opus is in its last round of editing before I ship it off to publishers. My wonderful fiancée and a handful of others have provided me brilliant feedback (thank you all!) and I’m incorporating said feedback plus a multitude of my own edits into this final draft. ETA: 2 weeks.

• Unidentified ______ Project for ______ – I’m working with several industry professionals on something that could be big. I can’t get into the details. It’s a game. It’s something you can play in a pretty expected place. My twitter has hints as to the technology behind it.

• Mobile games – I’ve been working on an Android engine entitled “redFox” for a few weeks now. I haven’t spent much time on it, just a handful of hours, but it’s moving along nicely. It’s being written in Java (a language I haven’t touched in awhile) and utilizes OpenGL ES 2 for rendering. I have 3 primary game ideas, at the moment, and I plan on building each as time permits. All art, audio, design, and code will be created by me, just as if it were a Ludum Dare

• Ludum Dare! I may be doing next week’s. Time will tell. I have an HTML5 engine I worked on that could be of use; but, we’ll see.

Where I’m going (places)

• I’ll be at Microsoft BUILD

Where I’m going (figuratively)

• The plan is to start work on my book soon (all about software engineering & teams, less code, more culture). I’ve been playing around with the idea of building the book more as a web app with articles by friends (authors, engineerings, etc.) and additional content (examples, quizzes, who knows what)… and a book (print-on-demand, eReader, etc.). Who knows what’ll happen.

Okay, that’s it for now! Back to work

In writing about empathy and discussing it with my fiancée I have come to realize the true difficulty of conveying the importance of being able to relate to employee emotions. Generally, a professional individual is not seen as being emotion. This is the first mental model we must address in order to improve the situation of “work” within the United States and elsewhere.

Humans are emotional creatures. When we suppress emotions,  we are not being professional. Rather, we are compartmentalizing or using some other coping mechanism to hide our more human elements. Typically, in the US we perceive being a worker or employee as being a cog in the machine. This very same mentality is why having emotions in an environment of employ appears to be so frowned upon.

Yet, to suppress emotions is to generate anxieties, this is what psychology tells us. By holding our emotions in, by constantly being told to “behave”, and by not emphasizing the organic, social-psychological element of employment, we are doing a disservice to not only our employees, but our productivity.

Being professional is about behaving, being a “good boy” or “good girl.” Anarchy is anathema to capitalism. Yet, in a creative environment, is “behaving” the appropriate system for achieving greatness? Laurel Thatcher Ulrich’s famous quote goes, “Well-behaved women rarely make history.” Just so for all genders. The truth of the matter is that “behaving” often means “don’t rock the boat.” In essence, this leads to complacency and quiet, root causes for malignant corporate culture.

In order to achieve the true potential of a company, we honestly should look to Athenian democracy. I know, it’s a stride away from our topic of productivity. However, if we take a moment and analyze the ideals of speech that were prevalent throughout the ancient world, we’ll notice a willingness to “dissent.” The Art of Contrary Thinking might be something to consider, in this case. Having individuals know they can speak up, even when their opinion isn’t popular, provides new perspective and possibilities. Often times, the uncommon idea, the one least followed by the majority, can be the most fruitful.

Okay, anyway, back to empathy — I tend to ramble more on my own blog than on Gamasutra — without being able to take the perspective of our employees and understand their emotional and psychological reasons for acting as they do, how can we ever hope to help them achieve greatness within our organizations?

Well, that’s enough deep thinking for one Friday. Expect more now that I’ve re-opened the blog and am reading on the subject.

It has been a long time, indeed. I’ve been spending the past several weeks posting my thoughts on Gamasutra, more as a means of shouting my ideas to the world than for personal expression.

I’ve been reading, a lot. An Open Life by Joseph Campbell, Man’s Search for Himself by Rollo May, The Courage to Create by Rollo May, and Wild At Heart by John Eldridge, amongst a scattering of others.

I have a pile of books to read and a single week off from work to read them in. Everything from The Price of Altruism to Pascal’s Pensées.

A core belief is beginning to take root in my mind. It has gripped the cockles of my heart and won’t let go. I can’t shake it from my mind. Empathy.

Empathy is our ability to understand and relate to emotions found in others. It’s not some hippie “free love” concept. Instead, it’s about perspective taking,

It wasn’t too long ago that I digested The Fifth Discipline and Peopleware. Conjoining the psychology books I’m reading now with these has allowed me to understand that one of the core Lean philosophies, that of respect, goes far beyond a simple bullet in a document or tagline on a poster.

I interpret respect as empathy. An employer or manager must be able to put on the shoes of those that work for her. She must understand that employees are not machines built to rotely perform actions; rather, humans are thinking, breathing creatures with a complex series of motivations and inner workings. A mallet may be used to beat a drum, but it will not pull forth sweet music from a violin. A different understanding, touch, and series of tools are required.

Indeed, I have come to understand that we focus too much of our efforts on dehumanizing the act of leading humans. We look at skills and tasks and tools and try to combine them with our timelines. How often do we consider the psychology of our employees and the ways to best engage them, create ownership, and reward them?

How often do we consider the importance of these acts?

There’s so much to consider. I truthfully feel like I have found a wellspring of information that was previously unknown to me. My journey truly began with Joseph Campbell and, I feel, it will rapidly move from its current focus on Rollo May to Carl Jung. Jung transcended Freud’s primitive interpretations and crafted a body of work that provides a fresh view on life with every read through.

There’s so much to read and understand, there really is. Only through knowledge, intelligence, courage, and empathy can we hope to work in a prosperous, humble, mutually beneficial accord with one another.

Well, that’s enough for tonight It’s good to be back. Look for more posts soon.

The air was dry and cold, just the way Rasko liked it. He sucked in O’s through his teeth, filled his chest with recycled atmosphere until his lungs threatened to burst at the seams. Breathing was good. The steady ebb and flow meant he was still alive.

The rest was a mess.

A line of dark, brownish red clung to his lips in blotched, cracked patches. His eyes were deep in their sockets, gray-green shadows outlining his pale blue pupils. The marine’s shoulder was broken, the attached appendage dislodged awkwardly, arm askew. The plates of his armor had been ripped cleanly off. His battered and dented kit was scattered across the corridor, abstract splatters of blood a deep crimson in the failing light of the wrecked ship.

Rasko’s fingers itched.

He followed the curve of his ruined arm and dully wondered at the seared strands of meat hanging in dead clumps where his hand should have been. A laugh welled up from his chest and became a wet cough, pain firing in his brain’s synapse and shouting down his spine to his bowls. He felt the knotted, clenched muscles of his abdomen let go as he shit himself.

“Fuck,” he managed to wheeze.

A sound echoed from behind and he used his good hand to prop himself up, teeth clenched and a mean snarl on his face as his muscles involuntarily spasmed. This isn’t happening to me, he thought, I have a wife and kids. This can’t be happening. Wake up. Wake up.

He twisted as something scurried nearby. It’s one of them, he mused. “Come to finish me off, have you?” he growled as his good hand groped the nylon of his tactical vest. “Here little one. Uncle Rasko’s got a surprise for you. Come on. I won’t bite.”

His breathing seemed to echo through the empty hallway, impossibly loud. The marine strained to hear something, anything.

There was nothing.

He sighed. “Well—“

A barb of pain lodged in his trapezius as a jolt of heat shot through his neck. A rigid spear of chitin-like claw emerged from his throat in a plume of ruby, splashed lines of blood across the nearby wall. Rasko’s eyes went wide. He tried to scream. The effort was wasted, a gurgling emitting from the hole in his throat, scarlet fluid bubbling out noisily.

There was more clicking and clattering as insect-like legs scampered nearer, carried meter-long creatures across the dingy floors. There must have been dozens. The monsters darted on all fours, large eyes reflecting the marine’s fear as they cautiously surrounded him.

“Fff—“ he tried, unable to form the curse.

The alpha of the pack lunged forward and sunk razor teeth into his side, his flesh coming loose in a thick clump as he was dragged several meters. A second mouth closed around his combat boot and pulled in the opposite direction. Then the swarm was upon him, claws and teeth slashing and gnashing greedily.

A cylinder rolled from Rasko’s hand and clattered to the floor, bounced once, then twice before settling. Somehow, the marine managed a smile as the aliens stopped their play and peered at the fallen object. Recognition came too late. The swarm began to disperse just as a deep, bassy thwuuummpphhh enveloped the corridor.

Rasko and the horde of skavvies were atomized.

Leaving

Tomorrow is my last day at my current employer (THQ|Kaos Studios). I’m about to move to a new avenue of game development, one that I haven’t explored in great detail. Monday will be my first day at the flash and facebook developer Arkadium. I’m really, really excited.

What this means

Hopefully, this means I’ll have more time to write again. I’ve finished the second draft of Cataclysm and have ~7 readers working their way through the massive tomb right now. But, outlining for Cataclysm II and another novel codenamed Muse hasn’t progressed as rapidly as I would have liked.

With the move, I’ll have more stable hours and, hopefully, a work environment that’s more conductive to free time. My goal is to outline, write, and finish editing the Muse project within the next 8 months. Cataclysm II is to be outlined before the end of the holiday season.

I have a lot of work ahead of me.

Mobile games

I’ve also started doing some mobile work with Mason, a former colleague of mine and a very, very talented programmer. He owns Cuttlefish Industries. We’re working on a soon to be disclosed iphone/android title through my Mythos Studios, LLC.

So, I have a lot of projects in the works!

Near future

I’m expecting feedback to be done for Cataclysm in the next month or so (fingers crossed). After that, there’ll be one more small editing pass (hopefully) and I’ll have a final set of readers before shipping the manuscript off. Until then, I’ll be outlining Muse and Cataclysm II as well as working on the Mythos/Cuttlefish game!

Check back for more updates soon!